Variations on the Theme

Roofio

2009-11-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

Berry Park has the potential to get super hip. Check it out the next time you're in the unclaimed territory between Williamsburg and Greenpoint. And check out my latest review for The L!

*Photo Credit: Berry Park

Out of the House

2009-10-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I went easy on this guy. I had a midnight attack of conscience and deleted a paragraph where I called the manager by name and demanded his resignation from the food service industry. My review of Su Casa for The L.

*Photo Credit: Adam "Witchcraft" Au

Insane in the Jane

2009-09-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

Herein lies my review of the Jane Hotel bar. Straight out of an undead fairytale, this is what the heights of New York nightlife can be. Highly recommended!

Garden of A**holes

2009-08-21T03:20:00.000-07:00

In this, my latest bar review for The L, the kickass editors don't touch my work and I get hostile about shoddy service and balls. Check it out!

Photo Credit: Adam "Ricochet" Au

Hotttttt Pixxxxxx

2009-07-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of my Uncle Bob with a camel:

Did you know that the Safe Haven Law in Nebraska has no age limit, so people from all over the country bring their unruly teens and drop them off at hospitals and firehouses? I guess it's better than Option Number One:

This is a very nice picture that I took of an old lady having a conversation with an even older lady. You can see more of my handiwork on my Flickr page:

Here's a shot of me looking great. My friend Travis took it before he got all French and moved to France. Do any artists out there need a muse? I've got to be someone's muse before my spine curvature ossifies.

SHITSHOW

2009-07-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

was my original title for my review of Superdive for The L. Check it out!

*Photo Credit: Adam "Fancy Man" Au

TREE!!!

2009-07-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is my interview with Tree, a bartender at the Stonewall Inn, for Metromix New York. This guy had incredible stories, was like 7 feet tall, and looked 50 years old at 70, despite having spent his youth fighting in riots and doing lines in the bathroom of the Crisco Disco with Robin Williams. Seriously this is why I live in New York.

*Photo Credit: Kelly Neal

Killer Queens

2009-06-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

Here's my latest bar review for The L! This one's for Dutch Kills, a fancy bar in a part of Queens that is an unequivocal dump.

*Photo Credit: Adam "Rope-a-Dope" Au

L'Chaim, yo

2009-06-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging for the good Jews down at Heeb magazine now! Check out my first post, regarding a diseased couple.

Packing Meat

2009-05-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

My latest bar review for The L: in which I taste perhaps the most disgusting drink of my life. Not a bad spot overall, though!

675 Bar Review

*Photo Credit: Adam "Dirty Bomb" Au

An Afternoon at the Yacht Club

2009-05-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

My Q&A with Justin Olsen of Gowanus Yacht Club for Metromix NY. These guys were awesome--I could've hung out there all day.

Spill It: Justin Olsen

*Photo Credit: Michael Harlan Turkell

Erin Go Blah

2009-05-19T10:54:00.001-07:00

Here's my latest bar review for The L!

*Photo credit: Adam "Nunchucks" Au

Wine Time

2009-05-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

Here's my interview with the lovely Alie Shaper of Brooklyn Oenology for Metromix New York. Original blog content coming soon (depending on your definition of the word "soon")!

*photo credit Sam Horine

Professionally Drunk

2009-04-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

In case you can't get enough of me, here's my latest bar review for The L Magazine! (Photo credit: the illustrious Adam Au)

Promotion! Promotion!

2009-04-28T12:42:00.001-07:00

Heeb Magazine's Storytelling is tomorrow night! You should go if you're in the New York area. I can't go because I'm going to yet another exclusive, fancy magazine industry party (for the free booze/quirkily charming dark haired dudes with media jobs), but it will be a good time. My friend Brenna will be there and she's pretty cute.

Low Point

2009-04-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I thought a 450 person hotbox would be a good place to make industry contacts, but I went to the High Times Magazine 4/20 celebration on Monday. The only business card I left with was a for a girl who sold hydroponic robots in Vancouver. (Life) lesson learned.

Rites of Spring

2009-04-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of my dog, Martin Van Buren, making out with another dog who is wearing sunglasses. Hail NYC.

Best of The Best!--Lizzi and Ryan Get Married, 4/4/09

2009-04-07T02:13:00.000-07:00

Best Quote: "Bring us those black babies! We love them!" --Laurie Nuell

Best Speech: Mary Block, Maid of Honor

Best Dance: The Dancing Weiss Girls, "This Will Be"

**Honorable Mention: Chris Block, "Billie Jean"

Best Face: beardless Matty Berkowitz

Best Threat: Andy Pesant to dude Genevieve was talking to:

AP: "Do you have a job?"
Guy: "Yes."
AP: "Do you have dental?"
Guy: "Yes."
AP: "Good. Because I'm going to punch you in the face."

Postcards from JB

2009-04-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

I submitted two emails that my mom sent me to the website Postcards From Yo Momma, and they both made it on! One of them, "Don't Worry About Me," is the #8 most popular! Go on the site and vote for them! Big ups, JB!

Here are direct links to my mom's emails, and some back story:

Don't Worry About Me

My mom was trying to guilt me and Gen into picking her up from the airport. It worked!

This is Your Family Honey

I told my mom I was depressed because a cute coworker was leaving the office, and she reminded me how much worse off I could be. Paul had to put Blackie in the freezer 'til he could take her to the pet cemetary on his lunch break. (The names were changed on the site to protect the guilty.) Mama's big time!

Come on. Really?

2009-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Ok I can't handle this. This sign is in the window of the same ladies' sportswear shop that recently encouraged me to "touch (my)self." Their street-facing slogans have gone way beyond the purview of a sportsbra store. It's not that I don't like or agree with what the sign says, but give me a break, Lululemon Athletica. This kind of heavy-handed moralism is not what I'm looking for in my purveyor of yoga-inspired sportswear.

Do Not Pinch Me.

2009-03-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day, ya drunks! The neighborhood is just infested with bagpipers. The pubs are full of laid-off everyjobs, tossing back foamy, green-tinted depression/anxiety/megalomania. As is my tradition, I'm celebrating St. Patrick's Day with my dog, Martin Van Buren, watching this video on repeat:

"Here's Something You Didn't Know About Me"

2009-03-12T03:18:00.000-07:00

You know what makes you sound completely insane? Sharing the most intimate and tragic details of your life with someone that you met five minutes earlier on a temp job at Lincoln Center. I was working backstage a few nights ago at the concert hall, and this lady in a brown tweed pantsuit launched into the tragic death of her cat, Susan, and her mother (in that order) within the first few minutes of our fleeting acquaintance. She had that wispy, very sculpted hair (That's another issue: why do ladies develop such crisp hairdos? Are they inevitable past a certain point?) and very white skin that looked disturbingly moist; like if you touched it you'd make an indentation. When I put Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs down momentarily, she leaned over asked my opinion on a joint memorial prayer card for her mom and the cat. I told her it sounded personal and unique because I am a coward.

Pizza Beagle

2009-02-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

There are animal rights activists picketing in front of the Patsy's Pizzeria at the end of my block. I have no idea why they're there. I don't really want to spend too much time thinking about the possible link between my delicious hot New York-style pies and the sad-eyed St. Bernard on those signs. I'm just going to pretend I never saw it, because it's easier that way. I think you should too.

I Can't Handle This

2009-02-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

I swear this blog won't degenerate to just me complaining about facebook ads, but seriously. What is this about? What is it even advertising? A bear standing in front of a giant honeycomb? "Messages"? Cancer?

In other news, I've learned to cook. I make a chicken lo mein that will knock you on your ass.

I'm Back!

2009-02-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

New York City I'm home again!