More Facebook Ads

These people are so strapped for cash that they're giving away their dogs to any psychopath serial killer that buys a tennis bracelet. Great idea, Jeri. Nothing inspires consumer confidence like total desperation.



What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on atop this cookie?

I Know Someone Who Touched Barack Obama

This is a picture from the AP of my friend Chris and his roommate Eric kicking it old school with the 44th President of the United States. I have no idea how these two clowns pulled this off, but I am impressed.

This Deserves Its Own Post

This is just nutty. We got this bottled water for the Tiger Limo this weekend: it's called Mountain Valley Spring. And people buy it! Without pause! Whoever came up with it must've been banking on the laziness/gullibility of the American people at large, and it worked. I mean, I bought it. But it can't be all three! This water is either from a mountain, a valley, or a spring. Most likely it is from a municipal tap.

Well done, bottled water company. This is the Freedom Medal of Valor of beverages.

Tiger Limo: Lizzi's Swingin' Key West Bachelorette (A Photo Essay)

YESSSSuh! New "Expert Traveler" Line at La Guardia!

Check it out! I saw this sign at the security checkpoint on my way home to Florida this morning for my cousin's swingin' Key West bachelorette. Someone from TSA must've finally heard me muttering unkind things about people with beverages, jewelry, gifts, hats, arthritis, babies, lace-up shoes, walkers, etc. (Idiots!)

My question is this, though: who voluntarily gets in the "I'm a total goofball" line? There were like 20 people in it this morning.

Making Poor Choices

Get out your mukluks, kids! It's balmy high of 21 today in the Big Apple. The frosty temps didn't stop me from going to the corner bodega this morning with wet hair that immediately froze into long brown icicles sprouting out of my head, though. If anyone asks, you can tell them I am totally hardcore.

Current State of Affairs

Tell you what, folks. "Working from home" will take your sleep schedule, gut-punch it, twirl it around in the air a couple times and then choke-slam it onto a concrete sidewalk full of bottles and crushed up Lunestas.

I have been catching up on my correspondence, though.

Is It Just Me

or does this sound like a nightmare:


Also, yes. Yes I am. (Jazzercise is BACK!):




Facebook ads, man. I think I'm going to get into advertising, if only to aid the industry in exploding in a fiery ball of its own lack of self-awareness.

You Guys Look Silly

Is a bar an appropriate place for Reiki therapy? The good people of Williamsburg, BK seem to think so, or at least one Bedford Avenue-based couple did. I think the guy was using the Mystery method. Kino escalating.

It's Here