Friday, November 21, 2008

Sweet Porcine Lovin'


A famous man just gave me a piece of chocolate-covered bacon. It is crunchy, feral bacon--Christmas morning bacon from the smokehouse in Vermont--curled in on itself and covered in a generous sheath of sharp, unapologetically dark chocolate. Oh Dear God Yes, men's lifestyle magazine!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Swag Hag


Here's a picture of me looking great with a bunch of free junk we got in the mail today. It's from my friend Brenna's website, brennaehrlich.com. On a scale of one to delicious, I would rate that StoveTop a 3.2.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Bite-Sized Nuggets


I got a Twitter! You can follow me on Twitter (over there -->)! I promise never, ever to call anything a tweet. xxM

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hey Mary!



It's me, Giant Air Rat! Have a great day at work today, k? And make sure my giant outstretched rat claws and huge glowing red eyes stay in your mind all day. Laterzzzzz.

Monday, November 10, 2008

How To Be Better At Your Life


My friend Andy, probably the coolest person I know, has started a blog. Have you ever felt like you should be cooler than you are? Read his blog for some great tips!
Also, he said he'd buy me a coyote hat if I got him some traffic.

http://iinmigas.typepad.com/

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Hot Style for Cold Weather

I came across this hat while shopping for great fashions on the Internet.


"From reenactments of famed mountain man triumphs along the frontier, to displays and decor befitting America's pioneers and settlers, the classic styling and authentic coyote hide make this hat a conversation starter at any gathering."

Here's what other people who bought the coyote hat had to say:


"This hat was purchased for myself as a present for surviving getting hit by a car. It is very warm." (5 stars)

"very well done. used the coyote hat on real models for oil painting .I would recommend this product to anyone who needs this type of product." (5 stars)

"I have purchased a number of fur hats in my day but this is by far the warmest and most comfortable. Not only does it keep the back of my head warm but you can wrap the legs around your face to block the wind. The only reason this hat did not receive 5 stars is due to the fact that I was attacked by a bird thinking it was wounded prey while I was out for a walk. A rare but unfortunate occurrence when wearing an animal pelt on your head. Also great in the rain." (4 stars)


Here's a link to the company's website so you can buy your own.

**Thanks Ali!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Halloween at the Airport


I spent my Halloween at LaGuardia Airport, which has a mouse problem that is not small.
A mouse I named Kristy Yamaguchi was my major source of holiday entertainment. She ate popcorn kernels and Buncha Crunch with two hands and scamped in and out of a hole in gate C5 as my flight to Miami became increasingly delayed and my personal status changed from crying to not crying and then back to crying. It was super fun for me and for everyone around me. Also the loudspeaker guy kept making chatty anouncements about "holding patterns" and "rush hour at LaGuardia," which, heads-up, is all day, every day. When he started calling group numbers I was seriously about to throw a dead cat at the guy until I saw that he was dressed in a purple velvet pimp suit with zebra-striped lapels and matching fedora. Then I proposed to him and we got married and now we have two beautiful children and a duplex in Queens.



PS: ELECTION FEVER KIDS!!!