You Can Vote However You Like

I've tried to keep this blog apolitical (and it has not been easy), but this is a must-post. Call me after this youtube blows your mind.

More Great Tips!

Here are some other things to do when you are more bored than is preferable:

--Shave words into the back of your head.

--Make a great lip balm by mixing Vaseline, some perfume, and a tub of cherry-pomegranate Crystal Light.

--Really exfoliate.

--Taste foods advertised for pets.

--Make a list of all of your crushes by height or by attainability.

--Sandbag your intersection.

--Boil your toothbrush in vinegar.

--Cry.

Boatload of Crazy

Yesterday I passed a guy sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk, meditating with his eyes closed next to a pair or mandals. "Lookin' crazy!" I said to myself and also out loud. Then I looked down and remembered that I was dressed like Zelda Fitzgerald from cloche hat to knotted pearls to t-strap shoes at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon. We're in it together, New York.

I Don't Know Why This Happened

I don't know why a giant rabbit in a blue tuxedo was leading a fist-pumping mob down Broadway tonight, but I'll tell you I loved every minute.

Wear It On the Outside

I saw a guy walking down the street today dressed like Aldous Huxley. Impressive! I think this is a great way to project an appreciation for literary figures and a general inability to talk to girls.

I'm going to start dressing like my favorite author.

Anyone Else Think This Is Weird?

I took this picture today on my way to work--I walk past this store every day. I'm not a puritan or anything, but a little strange, no? Plus what does that have to do with sportswear?

Hours of Flowers

Yesterday me and JFK's second life cabbed it to Brooklyn at midnight after the Maria Bamford(!) show to dance in a tube and guess who was on decks at Hugs? J.D. Samson! Everyone's favorite intergender dance punk phenomenon spun phat beats to me and Nick's chilly little hearts' content. Were you doing a pretty believable Ian Curtis with some aggro hipsters dressed like the Shining Path last night? I was.

The all-consuming interest in Brandon Flowers continues. If you're wondering what I'm doing with my life at any given point in the foreseeable future, it's watching this video.

From Total to Relative Obscurity

Say it ain't so, Joe!

Holy Moley

If this guy wasn't already married with a baby I would totally marry him and have his baby. Dark but boyish charm? Eye-lined sensitivity? Palpable awkwardness? Check! Check! Check!

Did Someone Get the Chili?

I went back to the south this weekend, this time to watch my brother marry the girl of his dreams and do the hustle with 205 of my closest friends. It was a hell of a throwdown, financed with abandon by Mama and the family of the bride. In a last-ditch effort to save a few bucks on our way down the mountain, Mom opted not to buy the 5 dollars of gas needed for the final pull into the Charlotte airport. Instead we coasted in on fumes with the A/C off, the windows up (less drag), and a cup of takeout chili steaming in the back seat. Did that stop me from wearing the same clothes again to work today? No it did not.

Did you know you can't get a cup of tap water on a plane anymore? It's the $2.00 bottle of Spring! or nothing. In further gripes, would it kill them to throw one of those bags with three peanuts in it at you? There is not a scrap of food in the sky these days.

My God I'm a crank.

Here's a video of me and my family from this weekend:

Insight in Transit

Wise Words To Go



Here's some unsolicited advice I've gotten from taxi drivers in the past two weeks:

1) "If some guy says to you 'Honey you so sweet. I'll take out, buy you dinner.' Bullshit. Wait 2 months. He says 'I won't tell my friends. Come to my place downtown.' Bullshit. He'll be on the telephone the next day."

2) "Don't eat in a restaurant. The food is poison. Cats, rats, whatever they find."

3) "You should definitely go to Palestine."