Halloween at the Airport

I spent my Halloween at LaGuardia Airport, which has a mouse problem that is not small.
A mouse I named Kristy Yamaguchi was my major source of holiday entertainment. She ate popcorn kernels and Buncha Crunch with two hands and scamped in and out of a hole in gate C5 as my flight to Miami became increasingly delayed and my personal status changed from crying to not crying and then back to crying. It was super fun for me and for everyone around me. Also the loudspeaker guy kept making chatty anouncements about "holding patterns" and "rush hour at LaGuardia," which, heads-up, is all day, every day. When he started calling group numbers I was seriously about to throw a dead cat at the guy until I saw that he was dressed in a purple velvet pimp suit with zebra-striped lapels and matching fedora. Then I proposed to him and we got married and now we have two beautiful children and a duplex in Queens.



PS: ELECTION FEVER KIDS!!!